-bEaT oF aN aNgEl-: 06/01/2004

Monday, June 28, 2004

Bad mood.. i wasnt like tis.. till 9.. argh.. how much do u noe... u haf the best.. u r the best.. happy? ahh stupid me..

|-Fallen-|StAr- i hope it leaves my dictionary.. but it never did..

Saturday, June 26, 2004

33 things about me

1. YOUR BIRTHDAY?
26 dec

2. SiNGLE OR TAKEN?
single

3. iF TAKEN, BY WHO?

4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERiOUSLY HURT BY
THE PERSON YOU LOVE/D?
mayb? not quite i guess..

5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU
TURNED SUiCiDAL?
tt i m outta of my mind..

6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?
den? sum1 killed u arhz? tt would b murder mahz..

7. PREFER COUNTRY OR CLASSiC?
techno...

8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?
Smart.. n kan de shun yan.. cant start a conversation wif sum1 hu totally get no hang wad u talkin bt rite?

9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTH
YOUR BF/GF/CRUSH?

no relationship 2 stablise

10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE USUALLY
FROM:
any1 hu happens 2 sms me lahz.. -_-" deng

11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THE OPPOSiTE
GENDER? WHO?

no..

12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE
DEPRESSED?
do nthin? cry? write it down? depends bahz..

13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?
boring..

14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE.

spend the day 2gether.. without sayin much.. deng.. i oso dunno.. seems boring..

15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS WHY
THE SKY iS BLUE? WHAT DO YOU THiNK?
deng.. of cos they noe y lahz.. due to sum stupid sci fact de lahz..

16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?
jus now bu shi ask a similar ques le mehz?

17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKE
AGAiN?WITH LOVE?
its not my mistake cos the fault doesnt lie in me..

18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL?
yes.. n i guess i still do..

19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSON
BREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY?

tts so stupid -_-"

20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRiBES WHAT
YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW.

stupid.. y did i bother 2 do tis.. oh well..

21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF?
no..

22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF?

yeah... but tt was when i was really crazy le.. but no biggie anyway..

23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF?
of cos.. neber like myself much in the 1st place

24. MOTTO iN LiFE.

no motto.. no life..

26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD *EXTRA* FEELiNGS
ABOUT A BEST FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?

haf no best fren from the opposite gender..

27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO ABOUT iT? iF NO,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

continue being frenz lahz.. unless u wan risk losin tt fren.. duhz..

28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANT
THiNGS iN YOUR LiFE?

guess so.. if not wad else is in life?

29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS
WHEN YOU`RE SLEEPiNG?

gd ques.. but how would u noe if u r aslp? dumb..

30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP?
no..

31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?
when i m not awake..

32. ARE YOU CONVENiENT WiTH THAT?
convenient wif wad?

33. LAST, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE
PERFECT?
duh.. of cos not lahz..

Another stupid quiz( i m so damn sian)

What Would You Do If Someone Called You A
baStard?:
- slap tt person.. cant u c i m a ger? a bitch suits better =X

Have You Ever Electrocuted Yourself?:
- what do u think?

At About What Age Do You Think People Get Really
Boring?:
- when they lose control of their life..

Would You Ever Consider loSin ur viRgin At 16?
- deng.. not

Are You Wonderful?
- far from it..

Do You Know Anybody With Purple Hair?
- no but it would b cool if i did..

Are There Any Normal People In This World?
- every1.. isnt it?

Are Clouds Really Marshmallows?
- yeah definitely.. time 2 grow a brain -_-"

Are You Absolutely Insane?
- yesh i think i seriously m.. 2 even do tis dumb quiz

Do Jumping Beans Really Make You Jump?
- dun u noe jumpin beans r banned now? rite? ahhh wadeva..

What Makes Hair Grow?
- sum stupid gene in ur body makes it lahz.. get a life.. y do u even care.. not like u haf no hair...

Why Are Oranges Orange?
- bcos.. they r orange.. tts wad its called an orange lahz.. deng.. wadeva..

Have you ever smelled the rain?
- yesh.. at least i think tts how it smells like..

Have you ever had someone from your past
suddenly appear?
- no..

Have you ever felt like the whole world was
right?
- no the world is neber right..

Have you ever seen true beauty?
- true beauty cannot b seen.. it is felt.. deng~

Have you ever felt that someone was more
beautiful because of their flaws?
- no.. flaws r wad makes ppl ugly.. isnt it?

Have you ever cried because you felt good?
- no?

Have you ever seen the sky at night when the
clouds look like flowers?
- are clouds even there at nite? ahh wadeva i dun care..

Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
- they r entitled 2 their own rights wad.. n tt includes crying.. though i neber c it b4.. guys.. they wont cry in front of ppl de wads..

Have you ever needed to be held?
- no.. i m fine by myself.. 1 shouldnt get dependent..

Have you ever needed to cuddle?
- no.

Have you ever been alone?
- duhz...

Have you ever been splashed in puddles?
- yesh..

Have you ever known what it was like to love and
be loved in return?
- ya

Have you ever had a crush?
- dun tell me there is sum1 hu neber had 1 b4.. go c a doc den.. =X

Have you ever known how good something was?
- yeah

Have you ever not know how good it was until
it's gone?
- yup but wads the pt of thinkin abt it now? its gone.. face it..

Have you ever tried to write poetry but ended up
throwing it away?
- i dun take lit ftmof( For The Matter Of Fact)

Have you ever experienced true happiness?
- neber

Have you ever given a love letter?
- stupid tactic

Have you ever wanted to just do things on
impulse?
- i always do.. n end up feelin stupid..

Have you ever wanted to just run?
- run away from?

Have you ever needed to get away?
- get away from my life?

Have you ever lost a love?
- didnt..

Have you ever tried to tell someone something
but the words wouldn't come out?
- no.. i m too direct anyway.. i say things without thinkin.. yeah i noe.. i need 2 grow a brain..

comments on this survey :
stupid ques.. so here i m stupidly doin it.. ahhh

enuff of tt stupid quizzez.. my brain dropped dead due to sian-ness..

GerS and GuysZ

Guys drink to forget about the girl...
Girls drink to think back about the guy...

When guys are in love, they become poor.
When girls are in love, they become pretty...

Guys can forget, but cannot forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot forget..

Guys care the most about the quantity of love...
Girls care the most about the quality of love..

Guys break-up when they feel love from another
girl...
Girls break-up when they feel the feeling of
separation from her man...

Guys feel curiosity towards all girls...
Girls feel curiosity towards guys who are
interested in her..

When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget
about the girl by going
out
with another girl...
When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his
characteristics from
another guy...

Guys wish to be her first love....
Girls wish to be his last love...

|-Fallen-|StAr - emit slaeh lla dnuow, nidnif ym eurt evol,erehw r u won?? nellaf rats~

Friday, June 25, 2004

Avoidin a prob obviously does not work,it jus slowly build up on u.. wad can i say.. its has build up alrite... the prob didnt end jus liddat.. perhaps.. its jus another beginnin like wad li xian said.. death might not really mean an end to a prob.. mayb its the start of it.. if u get wad i mean..

Every1 haf their own probs,and entitled 2 their own thinkin.. i think sumtimes sum words tt did not mean 2 hurt,cuts into ur heart the deepest.. words tt r so harmless.. could mean the whole world to the listener.. sumtimes i chose to blind myself.. so tt those probs did not seem so obvious.. so tt i haf a reason 2 bluff myself.. but the truth jus hits u hard in the face.. forcin u 2 wake up.. n tell u 2 stop livin in ur fantasies.. the cold hard reality is teachin u to grow up.. tt life is liddat.. it brings u up 4 a sec.. but throw u back down the next.. if u harbour all hope that things will always end up well.. u risk gettin ur hopes dashed.. 4 life is jus like a windin road.. u neber noe wad might b waitin behind those bends.. or wad might b installed in ur future.. live each day as it is..

Wad u see might not be the exact truth.. behind those smiles, might b a tearin face, waitin 4 a concerned soul 2 feel 4 it.. 2 paste a smile on it.. but hu can really hear wad it wanna say? hu can even sense its presence? dun presume tt happiness cums from the heart.. mayb its jus an act.. 2 escape interrogation.. or those mindless idle chats behind the back.. mayb xian is rite.. life is what we chose 2 lead.. sadness or happiness.. u still pass each day.. would u rather u laugh n enjoy those short lived happiness or cry thru each day?? if each happiness means the arrival of each sadness.. wad would u choose?? i would choose sadness.. knowin the presence of happiness.. will make sadness more unbearable.. but the thoughtless tells u.. they dun deserve it.. so each smile is used 2 cover up 4 every undeservin person.. till smiles lost its true meaning.. it jus a form of acting...

i m siao again.. its all the things i wanna say.. over n out~

|-Fallen-|StaR- think u understand those people ard u? reach behind those masks.. n u will noe~

Thursday, June 24, 2004

How to make a wanqi

Ingredients:

3 parts mercy

5 parts silliness

3 parts joy

Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

L	Luscious
O	Odd
H	Haunting

W	Wired
A	Amorous
N	Naughty
Q	Quaint
I	Ideal

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Stole tis from huiying's blog.. lolz~ okiez~

today, been thru being a lightbulb a.k.a table lamp, while li xian said he was a spotlight... lolz~ wah sian diao.. ppl couple den we both gong gong.. face the sea n talk 4 so long.. 1st time talked so much within such a short time.. later cannot stand it cos tis sacred ques keep poppin up in my head, " y did we even cum??"

Me and xian sat on the beach while the couple sat on the stone.. decided not 2 b so obvious n bright de table lamp mahz.. lolz~ okiez.. n u noe wad.. a spider crawled up my hand!!! yuck.. lolz~ okiez.. i think i broke 2 of the spider's legs =X .. lolz~ n den xian stepped.. den god bless that spider le.. ewwwww~

wahahaha okiez~ later i cannot stand it le.. couple stayed.. extras left..he pei me go hm.. yup end of story.. moral of story is.. bu yao be tian teng pao.. lolz~ okiez over n out..

|-Fallen-|Star- What happens quickly is bound to end as quickly 2.. treasure what u haf now.. cos they wont last 4eva

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

2day was a fun day.. lolz~ simple but fun.. well at least in my context.. lolz~ okiez lahz.. nowadays mood not bad.. jus tt sch is gonna start soon le!!! i dun1.. cannot believe tis holi is so damn short lo!!

okie mornin beri bu gan yu/an wake up lo!! *yawnz* still wanna slp de.. budden aiyah mus go sch put the bks there.. da bao xiao bao.. ppl think i siao diao liddat.. lolz~ ppl go sch all sling bag... i siao chabo carry so mani.. wahahahaha~

Met up wif xue.. lolz~ at least got sum1 as siao as me.. lalalala~ cos she oso da bao xiao bao.. her carrier summore torn.. haf 2 carry it all the way 2 sch.. n we WALKED 2 sch.. mind you.. so deng!!

Into the sch de shi hou.. 1st person i saw.. JUN WEI!! coucil camp.. saw qi en n fangyi as well.. walked across the porch.. saw liting,bifang n sum1 we noe de( i 4get hu liao =X) n waved lo.. they mus think we are from mars.. so outta place.. wahahaha~ okiez~ neber mind..

Went to the locker.. stuffed everythin inside.. lolz~ n my bag is so light le.. onli my water bottle n the a maths tys.. lolz~ printed all the heymath, chem, bio n physics read n shares.. the printer kp printin.. lolz~ n all is my stuff.. wahahaha~ even went 2 take the printing paper 3 times.. opps!! budden haha 2 bad lo.. libarian de hao(4) chu(4) mahz.. so mr george neber scold me.. :)

12 le n guess where are we? lolz~.. amk mrt station.. while tt ke lian the octupus reached le.. we were late 4 20 mins.. wahahaha~ sorry lahz.. sorry sorry!! miscalculations.. hai him hafta go kiddy palace n walk walk.. sorry!!

The lib is so packed even jus 20 mins after it opened.. deng!! had 2 sit on the floor.. cleared sum doubts abt maths.. lolz~ realised octupus has lousy maths concept 4 logarithms.. wahahaha.. okiez.. mine oso lahz.. budden i can spot ur mistake.. :P

Finished log wkshts.. retry all the a maths ques i gave up.. n den.. too sian liaoz.. so started ka jiao-ing ppl.. lolz~ talked until octupus cant concentrate.. but tts the whole pt.. vandalised his calculator.. scribbled on his chi paper.. well at least i got help u anyhow do a few chi ques lahz.. bu chuo hor! :P

So funny there.. got a few aunties n uncles slpin at the readin corner there.. lolz~ got tis uncle hor.. slp so long.. when we were there de shi hou.. saw him alsp.. leave liao he still slpin.. pro~

Me n xue cant take it le.. so decided go shopping.. first stop print club!! lolz~ okie.. as usual i look atrocious in it.. while xue.. lolz! being the photogenic 1 looked gd.. lolz~ oh well.. it was fun anyway..

2nd stop.. kiddy palace.. saw all the stuffed toys.. so kawaii!! the fur chao nice de.. ahhhhh!! sum1 buy 1 4 me lehz!! lolz~ okiez i sot diao le.. nan de gd mood mahz.. so liddat... lolz~

3rd stop.. chamelon.. cos octupus neber suggest where 2 go.. lolz~ went to buy ear rings.. all so nice.. me n xue got a tough time choosin lehz.. so octupus had 2 wait outside again 4 the 2nd time.. sorry sorry!! lolz~ yup so happy.. went shoppin again =)

Xue gotta leave 4 hm.. cos she beri motivated 2 do her geog.. den tt octupus had 2 wait 4 his fren 2 fin his meeting at sentosa.. n yup me went hm.. v tired.. oh well.. nice day anyway..

had fun makin sum1 sad.. wahahahaha~ i dunno jus feel he deserved 2 b.. opps.. i m so evil!!

|-Fallen-|StAr - SuM tHiNgS nEeD nOt B sAiD.. aLl iT nEeDs Is a HeArT 2 FeEl.. (yukai mus hate me 4 typin liddat.. sorry lahz.. lolz~ it seems nicer tis way mahz :P)

Sunday, June 20, 2004

10 OF YOUR FRIENDS

1] xueting
2] jasmin
3] cally
4] tiffany
5] orh orh de a.k.a shany
6] li xian a.k.a MN
7] sherry
8] octUpus a.k.a tc
9] yukai
10)amelia

9 THINGS THAT U REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW

1] go shopping
2] longer holi
3] no need do read n share
4] more $$
5] another ear piercing
6] grow taller
7] no more quarrels wif any1 in the family
8] get better results nxt term
9] more FrEeZe outings

8 IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR BAG

1] Handphone
2] money
3] comb
4] water bottle
5] hse keys
6] ez link card
7] dunno
8] dunno

7 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1] bed
2] computer
3] wardrobe
4] huge pile of sch txtbks
5] my table which is freakingly messy
6] full length mirror
7] chairs?

6 OF YOUR FAVE MOVIES

1] harry potter 3
2] Findin nemo
3] home on the range
4] shrek 2
5] hot chick
6] infernal affairs

5 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD

1] mum's cookin
2] sushi
3] pizza
4] dunno lahz
5] dunno lahz

4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRINK TODAY

1] ______ ______ "
2]
3] ____________
4]

3 THINGS YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT

1] my hp
2] computer
3] money

2 THINGS YOU USUALLY READ(not ranked)

1] textbks
2] newspaper

1 PERSON YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT(not ranked)

1] my parents( i dun care lahz.. its 1 term rite?)

Normal, Your normal meaning you are like most
people. You feel happly and sad like normal
people. Your usually com and active. You are a
normal friend. normal,wow.

what's your level in emotion? UPDATED agin!!!,GREAT PICS
brought to you by Quizilla

|-Fallen-|StAr- stuck at hm~

Friday, June 18, 2004

Had a super duper fun day 2day.. lolz~ okiez lahz.. not really tt gr8 lahz.. but at least better than at hm.. n i enjoyed myself really... tis mornin was still thinkin of whether i really wanted 2 go.. lolz~

went to bugis.. walked ard.. bot the tix 4 home on the range.. so cute!! Went to kinokuniya.. looked ard at bks.. whole day lookin at bks de.. lolz~ den went outside 2 walk walk.. lolz~ walk wif sum1 hu noes the way is gr8.. lolz~ didnt noe bugis got so mani diff places de lo.. lolz~ wow!! owaes oso stay in bugis village n parco de..

Walked 2 sim lim.. had lunch.. cos everywhere is jus so damn crowded.. den walked all the way back.. lolz~ i was like perspirin like hell under the sun.. n he was findin a shade 4 me.. lolz~ *so sweet*

Missed a little of the home on the range.. 2 dark 2 find our seats so jus seated anywhere.. the 3 little piggies.. so kawaii!! lolz~ n i was commentin tt tis is cute n tt is cute.. lolz~ typical me.. not bad 4 a cartoon.. but ended so soon.. when the lights came on.. all were kids lehz.. lolz~ okiez lahz.. my bad idea of watchin tt movie.. but at least got a few older de.. lolz :P

Walked abt.. went back kinokuniya.. sot diao liaoz.. all bks de.. n talked abt tarot cards.. didnt knew guys believe in tt.. lolz~ yeah talked abit abt his npcc days n all.. lolz~ so interestin.. made me think of octupus n his slackish-ness in npcc :P my fren was a sergeant k! lolz :P jkjk..

walked 2 PS.. lolz~ tts the 2nd time i walked 2 PS.. he told me abt sum ghost story in pulau tekong.. added version of wad octupus told me.. lolz~ so scary sia!! to find sum1 u dunno btwn u n ur mates!!

oh well.. shopped abit at PS.. den jiu went back hm le.. n his stupid ideas of takin a foto on his GD88!! lolz~ oh well.. i was 2 fast anyway.. wahahahaha~ yeah tts abt it..

Looks the NPCC enjoyed their KL trip.. lolz.. cool!

|-Fallen-|StAr- Hoobastank~ The reason ~ i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be, a reason to start over new ,and the reason is you

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The Story about the tree, leaf and wind...
Tree
===

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good
at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a
tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for
all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals
when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love
a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't
have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure,
doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a
very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her
innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness,
like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason
for not going after her is because I felt
somebody so ordinary like her is not a
good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we
are together all the good feelings will vanish.
I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I
felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine
ultimately & I don't have to give up everything
just for her. The last reason, made her
accompany me for 3 years. She watch me
chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry
for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very
demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd
girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was
embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before
running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen
like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think
about what causes her to cry but laugh at her
the whole day. When everybody go back home, she
was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't
know that I returned from soccer training to get
something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was
once when both of them quarreled. I know that
based on her character she's not the type that
will start off the quarrel. But I still sided
with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her
eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her
feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The
next day, she still laugh & joke with me like
nothing has ever happened. I know that she's
very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache
is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked
her out. After going out for a day, I told her
that I have something to tell her. She told me
that coincidentally, she has something to tell
me too. I told her about my break up and she
told me about her getting together. I know whose
the guy. He has been going after her for quite a
while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively
and interesting. His pursuit for her has been
the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heartache but could only
smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the
heartache is so strong that I can't stand it.
It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I
couldn't breath.
Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I
broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her
cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her
presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was
send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry.
I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf
departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because
Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
===

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves.
Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the
tree she has been relying on for so long it
takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of
Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not
BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his
1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never
should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in
the heart can't be describe by using a lemon.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the
extreme limit. They were only together for 2
mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of
happiness. But after a mth, he got together with
another gal.

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he
pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want
to make the first move? Whenever he had a new
girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after
time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that
this is a one sided love. If he don't like he,
why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what
you will normally do for a friend. Liking a
person is very heart wrenching. I can know his
likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I
can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal
to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping
that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's
like waiting for his phone call every night,
wanting him to send me sms. I know that no
matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years
were the hardest to go through & I really want
to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I
continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma
accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior
begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me
relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point
in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him
have a small footing in my heart. He's like a
warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away
from the tree. In the end, I realized that I
didn't want to give this wind a small footing in
my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly
battered leave far away & better land. Finally I
left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask
me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind
pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's
so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust
wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I
first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to
the new school. I saw a petite person looking at
my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time,
she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or
with her friends looking at him. When he talks
with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he
looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit. Just like she
likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something
amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's
a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not
there as well. I went to their classroom, hid
outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears
were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I
saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I
walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note &
gave to her. She was surprised.
She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The
next day, she appeared & pass me a note and
left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow
her away.It's not that leaf heart is too heavy.
It because leaf never want to leave tree I
replied her note with this statement and slowly
she started to talk to me & accept my presents &
phone calls. I know that the person she loves is
not me. But I have this perseverance that one
day I will make her like me.

Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her
no less than 20 times. Every time, she will
divert away from the topic. But I never give up.
If I decide I want her to be mine, I will
definitely use all means to win her over. I
can't remember how many times I have declared my
love to her. Although I know she will try to
divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend.
I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't
want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my
head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm
nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up
the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and
rush to her place & press her door bell.

During the moment when she opens the door. I
hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of
Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to
stay..

|-Fallen-|StAr

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

i finished 8 geog essay le.. so proud of myself. lolz~ at least 2 more jiu fin le.. =) gd luck 2 all tt r strugglin :P

Due to the demand by sum1.. i m tellin u tis now!! Sotongs r better than dummy octopus!!

1) it is cuter
2) it is still cuter
3) its 4eva cuter
4) and the list goes on..

not gonna spent my day typin 1000 word essay 4 tis.. but to conclude.. Sotongs r better than octupus! Period..

Ahh i m so lame :P cant help it.. bcos of sum1 lo~

|-Fallen-|StaR - i c thru the eyes of the blind.. n i realised i saw much more than wad the eye can c..

Monday, June 14, 2004

*Yawnz* tis few days.. i m really tired.. hahaz.. 2day finally watched shrek.. finally!! lolz~ i said i wanted 2 watch wks ago le.. all his fault.. its always his fault.. tok 2 him i will peng.. he is really unreasonable lo.. i noe he dun mean bad things.. budden its like.. he's really went overboard.. so i m all out 2 piss him back 2day.. wahahahaha~

The movie is jus so CUTE!! i noe i m slow lahz.. the show is like almost endin liao den i watch.. lolz~ the cat is so cute lo.. tot he beri li hai.. in the end is jus a little kitty.. n yeah true frenz though might seem annoyin sumtimes, but they r always there 2 advice or jus stand by ur side when u need them =)

The endin so fairytale de.. lolz~ okies its suppose 2 b liddat.. but it would b nicer they remained like they were n not ogres.. lolz~ okiez.. i m jus pract..

Sorry if i seem sian.. i walk dao oso wanna fall aslp le.. lolz~ n sorry 4 kp sayin cute here n there.. lolz~ i noe its annoyin.. wahahaha..

|-Fallen-|StAr- Look at the person, look deep into the heart, the looks r jus deceivin images 2 distract.. use ur heart 2 feel~

Sunday, June 13, 2004

2day was damn sian.. rot my life away by doin 3 and a half geog essays. Every1 has been living on well i guess( except him lahz)... ya n me.. mine is okie i guess.. but i might b too perfectionist.. n pessimistic..
i played wif the tarot cards jus now.. v v v coincidentally.. i got the same cards tt i picked out the other time when cally was playin wif me.. n the explanation were the same.. mayb order not the same.. but i guess it is really zun bahz.. i haf a bad life..

To cally, amelia n liying hu r going to KL 2moro: Bon Voyage.. take care =)

|-Fallen-|Star - every1 haf a star in life.. 2 light up their dark sky.. n to find their way out.. i m currently lost.. i need 2 find my guidin star~

Saturday, June 12, 2004

2day i tot would b okiez in the beginnin.. but its jus so bloody.. the way it ended.. not during fReeZe outing( though i was havin a serious mood swing.. n was like bz in my own world while u all talked.. luckily no1 bothered)..

Went merlion park.. faced the sea( or wadeva lahz.. jus sum water there).. mostly is shany talkin abt her stuff.. i was like.. i dunno.. i jus felt weird.. i guess every1's liddat.. pressure ourselves wif sumthin tt could so easily b solved.. but bcos we r 2 involved.. tts y we couldnt think it out.. life's like tt i guess.. but shany~ there's always rainbow after a heavy downpour.. i hope tt rainbow appears in ur life soon =)

lolz.. we were damn early waitin 4 jas at the mrt station.. okiez.. i guess we didnt plan well.. i got attacked by another round of mood swing.. i jus felt like sittin there n cry.. but bcos its cally's bday.. dun wanna make her sad.. so i jus kept quiet.. still talked abit.. but most of the time i jus felt 2 tired 2 do anythin.. tt is except to ka jiao shany.. lolz~ really cannot take it le.. me n xue jus laid on the seat( erm ya disgraceful.. but hu cares?).. we talked abit.. hahaz.. got tis feelin tt everythin gd is happenin in her life.. my life compared 2 hers.. really sux..i really xian mu everybody.. wad is my life so bloody suckish? oh well..

Met up wif jas.. n den waited 4 tt damn 400 at the bus stop outside.. tt time my brain was like in a total mess.. thinkin so much things.. tt r so stupid.. lolz~ oh well.. sorry 2 cal.. cos i wasnt v responsive.. n abit sian sian de..

Went to the bowlin alley.. they played pool.. me n xue used eyes power.. den we played tarot cards.. no idea wad it says.. dun understand.. xcept tt bit tt cal told me abt my life.. its meant to suck the whole way.. lolz~ n yes.. now i m experiencin it.. n 1 part tt is damn true.. no matter how hard i try.. i will neber succeed.. i need a new life!!!

the arcade games were nxt.. played abit.. as usual.. i sux in them.. did i eva not?

Went back 2 cineleisure 2 take neoprints.. till then i was damn tired.. i was like.. cant b bothered wif everythin.. so jus let them do all tt.. n 1 funny thing i saw.. lolz~ a guy was like holdin 1 huge blop of cotton candy.. n he opened the KFC door( yeah KFC again -_-").. n the door sorta like close on him.. n u know wad?? the cotton candy stuck onto the handle.. i was like *jaws dropped*..damn hilarious.. think he found out later.. n he went in to put the cotton candy out.. lolz~ damn funny!!

After tt FrEEzE went hm.. me went to meet my mum at aljunied.. den i was in a damn foul mood.. dunno y.. i always feel liddat when i travel alone.. i m crazy.. really m nowadays.. stupid road idiot i m lo.. i walked out of the wrong exit.. n den had 2 walk 1 big round ard the mrt station b4 i reached the bus stop.. n tt bloody 40 took like 30 mins 2 reach.. i was totally exasperated..

All the commotion happened..my kor n parents n me went 2 toa payoh.. everywhere is packed.. so damn pissed.. went back 2 causeway.. n i pissed my mum off over sumthin tt she doesnt agree on.. oh well.. went hm..

Mayb u r rite.. i m spoilt.. i m not sensible.. i m still v childish.. wadeva u tell me.. i try 2 change.. i tried not to go out so often.. i tried v hard 2 cumhm early so tt u dun hafta wait 4 me.. i tried.. i really did.. but did u c?? obviously not.. in ur eyes.. i m a spoilt brat.. wad can i do?

Totally sucked 2day.. but not durin the freeze part.. n happy bday cally.. *i love u*.. sumhow wished tt i didnt noe so much things tt r happenin.. sumhow wished i wasnt leadin my life.. argh

|-Fallen-|StAr- AfTeR eVeRy hEaVy Rain, ThErE's a RainBow. In eVeRy InCh oF dArKnEss.. tHeRe aLwAYS a sHinIn StAR.. but i couldnt find my rainbow or my star.. =(

Friday, June 11, 2004

Since every1 dilligently updatin blog.. den i oso might as well update mine lahz.. wah beri tong!! lolz~ my bruises on the knees r really gettin from bad 2 worst.. bigger n bigger.. lolz~ especially after i went ice skatin again 2day! lolz~ pro lo..

So tis mornin woke up n received xue sms 2 go "jie"(4) tt dua pai de guy lah.. n den smsed him.. dun reply.. suan le.. so i call him.. n den he came wif an excuse like" my dad cum hm le so i cannot go".. face it.. we dun need u.. we can haf fun wifout u.. n definitely we r not beggin u.. so oh well.. doesnt matter if u r there de!

Went 2 meet up wif xue n ivan at causeway pt.. lolz~ we were so early when we reach JE.. even when suz reach le.. still beri early.. lolz~ tts gd.. den we headed 2 the rink lo...

The uncle gif me de skates is like one new one old.. den really one is higher den the other.. went into the rink jiu jue de guai guai de.. cannot balance.. so went 2 change the skates lo.. after changed le.. really much MUCH better lo.. at least can balance..

Pro me.. fell like quite a no of times in between.. but at least can manage on my own.. budden beri weird de lehz.. when i go near xue n ivan hor.. almost yao reach them le hor.. i will fall.. really de lehz!! like a curse or sumthin.. lolz.. oh well.. n ke lian de suz.. c me fall den will oso fall.. lolz~ wah!! *zhen shi xiang yi wei ming* arhz..

den we were like skatin in 3s(suz, xue, me).. den got tis metal thingy.. n the kid was like pushin it.. n den i got tripped over lo.. n got all wet.. n i mean REAL WET.. was shiverin.. ahhhz!! lolz~

Den always end up me wif suz.. xiang yi wei ming.. holdin hands onli.. while other ppl tian tian mi mi lo.. :'( lolz~ suz still joke abt wad mus cum wif bf den lang man.. lolz~ talked a bit wif her.. she's really a gd person 2 talk 2 lo =)

The stupid dumb rink had 2 close like 4:45??cos sum1 booked.. den we all rushed 2 KFC
b4 5.. lolz~ den can use the teen vintage card mahz :P .. felt a lot warmer.. though the clothes r still WET!... talked abt sum sch stuff while eating.. lolz~ so nice talkin 2 every1..

Couldnt decide where we wanna go.. so went back to the mrt station.. n took the mrt back 2 causeway pt.. lolz~ on the way.. saw carmen n jeannie.. we were like stunned dio.. budden didnt bother abt them n cont 2 talk.. carmen could tell we r andersonians.. i did like smile at her lahz.. den jeannie was like," huh? izzit?? every1 arhz?" -_-" diaoz.. they eben ask ivan where we alightin.. ermZZ~

Went 2 causeway n suz wanna take neoprint, me n ivan was like sui bian lo.. xue dun seem like she wanna.. budden we still took.. lolz~ it was v erm.. oh well.. n ivan.. yeah u dun look ugly in it lahz ^-^

Tired day.. gotta stop.. 2moro celebratin cal's bday..

|-Fallen-|StAr- WaD wE mEaN wE dUn sAy.. bUt wE oFtEn sAy tHiNgS wE dUn mEaN 2 HurT OtHeRs.. LiSTen 2 Ur HeArT.. It WiLl LeAd tHe WaY~

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

2day arhz.. how 2 say.. a bit angry in the mornin lahz.. budden now should b okie wif him le lahz.. but the ice skatin was kinda fun lahz.. though now i got so mani bruises on my knee le.. bend down oso beri pain lehz.. :'(

Woke up at 8 lo.. all bcos of tt sum1.. ming ming shuo hao le mahz.. den dua me lo!! guo fen.. make me so pissed off lo.. so went online n chat wif yukai n chee yong lahz.. hmmz.. so feelin okie a bit le.. lolz~ den xue oso bei ivan dua.. lolz~ y we both so suay arhz... so ke lian.. :P at least ivan still got turn up rite.. n his reason is better than the stupid," if i can make it den i will call u" kind of ans lo~!!~!

Tt chee yong.. aiyox.. so bad de.. i waste so much hp bills 2 quan(4) him.. in the end he chose his prawn mee over me n xue.. how could he lo!!! *heart breaks* :P

wah.. i b gooseberry on the way 2 JE lo.. aiyox feels so bad lo.. :P den met up wif yukai.. lolz~ hey we werent late wor.. lolz.. i oredi calculate properly tt we will reach on the dot le.. lolz~

Yukai kept laughin.. den c his face i couldnt help but laugh along oso lo.. lolz~ wah.. den xue was v exasperated.. lolz~ apparently got sumthin 2 do wif her de lahz.. nope.. i m not sayin wad.. clever enuff de hua.. u will noe de.. *winks* =)

the whole ice skatin trip.. tai dui lian le.. i broke world record 4 fellin the most no of times lo.. lolz~ so dui lian *embarrassed* aiyahz.. cant help it mahz.. i learn things jiu shi liddat de.. v v v v slow learner.. den u teach me until vomit blood.. i still get it wrong de.. worse thing arhz.. samuel n his frenz were there.. -_-" lolz~ didnt c him though.. though he saw me.. ahhh!! wrong timing le lahz.. lolz~ oh well.. i didnt c him fell.. aiyah wasted :P

Tt stupid guy.. smsed me to tell me he FINALLY woke up at 2+.. wah.. guo fen de lo.. though i dunno wad happened 2 me nowadays.. he seemed pretty troubled.. but since u apologised n could tell u r sincere.. i dun stay angry wif u le lahz.. =)

lolz.. sorry arhz.. i keep hai every1... so now 4 my apologies ->

To yukai: lolz~ really didnt noe u so carin de lo.. can take care of ppl really well.. thx 4 pei-ing most of the time den u cannot skate.. n sorry 4 pullin u unwillingly 2 go.. SORRY!! thx 4 pei-ing me to sit by the side, thx 4 helpin me dry my gloves.. n fu(2) me round the rink god knows how mani times.. n there 2 check out if i will fall,ask me 2 drink water when my lips turned purple.. I LOVE U SO MUCH!! lolz~ :P

To Thiam chye: sorry i keep fellin down.. n hai u fell a few times 2.. opps.. sorry.. lolz~ n hai u hafta kp teachin me.. though i cannot understand it lahz.. =X sorry.. i stupid so cannot understand mahz.. ya n helped me tie my laces when it came loose =) *so nice* yup thx 4 pei-ing me 2 =)

To xueting n ivan: sorry 4 the times i banged into u both =X n all the teasin.. lolz~ sorry lahz.. i play play nia :P oh ya.. n ivan.. sorry i hai u fell a few times oso.. wah.. i like v bad lehz -_-" make so mani ppl fall.. sorry!!

To yupeng: thx 4 teachin me.. lolz~ sui ran i oso cannot skate lahz.. lolz~ n ur gloves.. sorry i made them wet.. ben lai wanna dry 4 u de.. budden hor.. they all in a hurry 2 leave le.. so sorry hor!! n THX =)

To vanessa( though she will not b able 2 c tis): sorry 4 hai-ing u fall.. sorry!! lolz~ i 2 prone 2 fallin down le..

To all i left out: *muacks* sorry 4 everythin.. =)

Brr.. damn cold.. gotta stop now.
|-Fallen-|Star - every bad thing is followed by a gd one.. keep on wishin.. cos 1 day.. gd things will all happen at once..

Monday, June 07, 2004

Shoppin definitely brightens ur day :) lolz~ i feel much much better 2day than the past few days lo~

Met up wif jas at amk.. but the mrt is jus so damn packed. so had to meet her at Orchard de platform lo.. saw jenny and amanda on the Mrt too.. when i alighted from the platform den saw jas n 1 more person.. SHAN!!! i was like "huh?" y r u here as well?? lolz~ okiez.. realised i gave jas the wrong direction =X cos her left is my right mahz.. den i told her on the right.. lolz~okiez.. sorry.. n v qiao de.. we nv arrange or anythin lo.. we were both wearin black de pure milk shirt n the same kinda pants.. lolz~ wow!! the shoes oso got stripes de.. even shan oso think we shuo hao de when we didnt.. lolz~

Jus reach far east, xue jiu called le.. so look look ard n den went to tt pathetically SMALL 7-11 n met up wif xue.. shan wasnt in a gd mood.. can tell.. oh well~

Walked to heeren, n found tt heeren de annex is yue lai yue lan le.. bascially nthin de.. no more livia, like everythin oso changed le.. summore is yue change yue not gd de shops lo.. so sian diao le.. so decided 2 pei xue go centrepont..

Reached centrepoint at ard 4.. wah.. stayed at the robinson damn long.. cos xue is lookin 4 the right size.. seen so mani bright colours until almost blinded le lahz.. stood 4 v v v long.. den ard 3:40++ le den leave.. all those hu came after us dou bought n left le.. =X wow.. 2 pro le yi dian bahz.. lolz~

Later went to tt insect infested mcdonald.. started feelin really itchy lo.. so quickly left.. den xue gotta go le.. so me n jas walked ard 2 paragon.. when we went in n on the escalator.. i m traumatised!! i got 8 mosquito bites on my legs.. 8 lo!!! wah~ lolz.. speakin of which tt tiffany CHOO~ still didnt cum meet us lo.. wah.. so late liaoz.. lolz.. okiez neber mind..

Me n jas later siao siao walked back to far east.. -_-" really brain got prob.. but act is i suggest de =X .. lolz~ act go back got shou huo lahz.. not bad.. lolz~ now really broke le lahz!!!

To cal: sorry didnt tell u.. didnt mean to de..
To shan: neber mind lahz!! sorry 2day my tone sound abit unkind 2 u.. but i dun think it matters lah.. cos how i treat u oso not impt de rite? :P oh well~

|-Fallen-|StaR - Dun eva let tears leave ur eyes.. tt onli means u haf lost the battle wif urself.. life is designed to kill.. let life be the 1 be killed~

Saturday, June 05, 2004

How does it feel like when a person is tryin v hard 2 pull a square out of a circular hole but it wont budge? tis is wad i m feelin now.. it feels so weird.. as if sumthin is utterly wrong wif me.. n yet i noe it but couldnt change it.. nowadays was really touchy.. every word tt i heard has a negative effect on me.. when these words dun mean tt.. or was no big deal.. wad's wif me?? :'(

~Tis is how i feel~

|-Fallen-|Star - How cum stayin happy is such a diff task 2 accomplish.. izzit the world or izzit jus me?

Friday, June 04, 2004

Harry potter is jus so cool lo.. really nice.. lolz~ okiez.. i noe sum ppl r there might think tis movie is dumb but it definitely isnt.. though i read the bk b4.. but i still find the movie fascinating.. n tt malfoy.. he seems so much bigger n older since the last movie.. *really worth watchin*

Basically tis wkend didnt really go out much bcos (i) wanted 2 fin up my huge pile of hw n (ii) my mum thinks i go out 2 much n (iii) really really broke so was quite guai n didnt online so much.. n finished my e n a maths tys le!! lolz~ n 10 ques in the online revision assignment..

Wonder where every1 was.. think mus b ice skatin.. its 8:16 n no one is online.. hahaz.. okiez.. bascially holi is so cool!!!~~!!~~ lolz~ think i betta start on my hw.. didnt do any 2day..

|-Fallen-|StaR (*)

Avril lavigne - my happy endin

So much 4 my happy endin~
let's talk tis over,
its not like we r dead,
is it sumthin i did or sumthin u said,
dun leave me hangin,
held up so high,
i m such a breakable threat,
u were all the things i tot i knew n,
*~+Chorus+~*
i tot we could b u were everythin EVERYTHIN tt i wanted,
we were meant 2 b supposed 2 b but we lost it,
all of the memories so close 2 me jus fade away,
all tis time u were pretendin ,so much 4 my happy endin~
so much 4 my happy endin

u got ur dumb frenz,
i noe wad they say,
they tell u i m difficult but so r they,
but they dunno me,
do they even noe u,
all the things u hide from me,
all the shit that u do,
u were all the things i tot i knew n,
i tot we could b..
+~*Chrous*~+
its nice 2 noe u were there,
thx 4 actin like u care,
n makin me feel like i was the only 1..
its nice 2 noe we had it all,
thx 4 watchin me as i fall,
lettin me noe i we were torn

~*+Chorus+*~ x2

o o o o o o o o so much 4 my happy endin..

|-Fallen-|StaR (*)

-bEaT oF aN aNgEl-